Enjoying the little things in life

Good morning! Another early AM blog thanks to steroids. Yesterday they hooked me up to infusion #5, and I talked my oncologist into reducing my dexamethasone (steroid) to 4 mg. I think the lower dose helped me sleep a wee bit more -  but here I am, up for the early am "blogging hour"...

I feel that the the effects of this chemo are getting a bit more intense and lasting a bit longer each time. I have been petty tired at work, and am so thankful I have these three infusion days off.

That said, once the chemo leaves my system I feel much better and have been enjoying life as much as possible. We spent last weekend on AMC's Three Mile Island (Winnepesaukee) where Rory works. I am noticing that I am doing way less here than I did when we visited prior summers. Usually I kayak, hike, paddle-board, and swim a ton. This year it seems it is all I can do to undertake a few-mile kayak and some hiking around the island (mostly to the main lodge for meals). The chemo has steadily dropped my RBCs and hemoglobin and I am starting to feel fatigued more easily. I had to opt out of the 11 pm full-moon paddle that Rory offered us, I was 3/4 asleep! Steve went and said it was lovely. I am trying to not be hard on myself or disappointed about my reduced activity. 

Perhaps this is a good life lesson - adjusting to my new normal and being as satisfied as possible with things as they are. I tried to focus on enjoying the smaller, simpler things that one can do on the island. For instance, I had a few totally lovely walks through the sun-dappled paths on the way to and fro our little cabin, I had a warm and delicious solar shower from lake water that had warmed in the sun on our deck all day, and a meditative cup of tea with Steve while looking out on the lake from the front porch of the main lodge, breeze blowing in from the White Mountains. I find it helpful to remind myself to not get caught up in my own expectations - to be receptive and thankful for the small moments of joy and beauty that are happening all around me - especially on a lovely summer day. Some of these lessons that cancer is teaching me will hopefully get generalized when my normal life returns.  Life lessons indeed! 

Thank you everyone for keeping up the support. I am so lucky to have you all at my side ❤️