If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are? T.S. Eliot

Dear Friends and Family,

It has been a total whirlwind of doctors and second opinions this past week. Our heads are spinning! We sure wish more was known about these cancers and the path was clearer.

Today, my oncologist at Beth Israel (Schlechter) strongly recommended against following the SK recommendation of starting my treatments with 4 months of systemic chemo. He argues that because my specific adenocarcinoma has been known to be chemo resistant, 4 months is way too long to let the cancer possibly spread, should the systemic chemo treatments be ineffective. Schlechter is the first doctor we've met in the last month who seems very assured of something, so that won us over. And while I dread the idea of having to face 4 months of chemo after a major surgery, I dread more the thought of the alternative.  

SO... tomorrow morning I am heading to get 'set up' for radiation treatments, to start sometime in mid-December. My Lahey team has a radiologist who also practices at Lowell General, near my office. Since radiation is every day Mon-Friday for almost 6 weeks, I am hoping to do it on my way home from work every day, for as long as I can. I am told that the last few weeks I may have to take off work - the "butt burn" can be that severe. 

As the plan looks now, I would be done with radiation in early February, be given about 5 weeks to heal from the "butt burn", then in March have a massive (8 hour) Abdominal Perineal Resection (APR) to get rid of my entire lower digestive system (whaaaaaaah!) and also to remove the skin area with Paget's cells. Once healed from surgery (a week in hospital, then about two months healing at home) I will likely be looking at 4 months of systemic infusion chemo to try to attack any errant cancer cells that might still be floating around out there. 

Yes, I know it sounds pretty horrible, but I am told that it is the best and only real chance I have because "this cancer don't mess around". So, I am pumping up my resolve, putting my ducks in order, transferring my legal clients to other lawyers, learning to meditate, making calming playlists, preparing my staff and co-workers, cleaning up my act, filling out medical leave forms, applying for a medical marijuana card, finding cancer peers, and looking for a good caregiver support group for my partner and my rock, Steve!

So my dear friends, THANK YOU for your offers of help! We will need it once this treatment whirlwind gets going! We SO appreciate all the support you have given us already - the kind cards and posts on this blog, funny karate pictures of me, care packages, food, meditation tapes, rides, good advice and good humor, and walks for Tony! 

We love you all! J & S