As the chemicals from infusion #8 slowly leave my system, it is sinking in that I'm DONE with treatment!! Just in time - I developed involuntary gut-wrenching nausea just getting near the infusion room or looking at the little cups of cranberry juice they give me during treatments. Bllllleeeeeaaaaaaaacccchhhhh! Infusion #8 was the worst of them all - but - it is OVER!! 'Nuff said on that... time to move forward!
So, now I am in the wait-and-see phase of treatment. People talk about this phase being emotionally difficult because you are no longer meeting with doctors every week, no longer actively "doing something" to fight your cancer. You are slowly recovering from treatments, waiting for the next scan, fingers crossed that no single cancer cell escaped the onslaught of your treatments. This period could be especially tough for me given the aggressiveness, treatment-resistance, and lack of information on my particular cancer.
I don't want to waste any more precious moments worrying about cancer, I want to maximize my enjoyment of life! I plan to visit with a cancer counsellor in the upcoming months to get some good techniques to accomplish this.
I also want to spend time reflecting on the past year. Dealing with a life-threatening cancer dramatically changes your perspective on many things. I now believe that the effect that many call "post-traumatic growth" is very real. I hope to make the most of the many lessons to be learned from the past year. I will write more on this as the thoughts become clearer in my mind, but for now, know this: support from friends and family can fuel your mind and body to make it through even your worst nightmares. I can't thank you all enough for being by my side throughout the last year, pulling me through. Your love has made all the difference. ❤️
